Hello Sluggo:

I think.

• Exhausted, even. #

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That’s right folks. I am attempting to integrate my rather unproductive Tweeting with my even less prolific blogging. Why? Because even though I don’t have a lot to say, I love the fact that if I do think of something Earth-shattering, I’ll have a way to broadcast it without raising much more than a finger. Put that in your pipe and suck on it.

Well, yeah, it kinda works. I’ll just let it run and see what happens. http://twitpic.com/lxtdw

@xenijardin Ya mama’s armpits are so hairy, she look like she got Buckwheat in a headlock.

@madventures Hell no! We luv Madventures!

st. valentine’s day massacre!, originally uploaded by Sluggo.

We were sitting around about 8:20 this morning watching TV with Kei when there was this sound like a sudden tornado in the backyard and then a big crash that shook the house a bit. Sharon was sitting on the couch where she could see, and she started hoopin’ and hollerin’ that the big old dead tree out back had fallen through the fence. I couldn’t see it from where I was, but I looked out the back door, and sure enough, chaos!

Glad nobody was out there when it fell… That could have been really bad.

It’s pretty funny, too, ‘cos I was just sitting out there a few days ago wondering when that tree was gonna fall. We had some really strong winds come through this week, and I’m really surprised it didn’t come down then. Probably loosened it up a bit. All I could do was laugh, because I knew exactly where it was going to fall.

It actually only took out one section of the fence. I bent the brackets back out and checked the posts, and I think it’s something I can fix myself. Getting that tree out of there is another issue altogether, though. Alberto (the tree guy) should be here anytime to check it out. Allstate wants us to wait for a claims guy to show up, but that could take up to three days. Oh, and did I mention the $1000 deductible? If Alberto can do it for less than that, and sooner, then I figger we’re better off. Oh well, that’s what tax refunds are for, I guess.

Update: Alberto wants $750 to remove it and clean up the area. Not a bad deal, considering the tree was about 35 feet tall. Oh, and Allstate has a “tree clause” in Texas, apparently, so we’ll get a check back from them for $250.

As for the fence, I need to get my tail moving to Home Depot and get everything I need to fix it.

Anyone who is worth their salt in punk rock history knows The Misfits. Last night I was trudging around online, trying to figure out exactly where I lost the enthusiasm I once had for punk—reminiscing about how innocent, nihilistic and yet idealistic it all really was and how I wish it could still be that way—when I happened upon the Misfits Wikipedia entry. I realized that their history has got to be one of the most colorful in terms of outrageous makeovers, reinventions and regroupings of any band ever… That Jerry Only is a real master of marketing it seems.

Then it occurred to me that there is a bigger merger possibility here that is hinted at in a Misfits t-shirt for sale at their website…

Am I the first to notice the similarity to our favorite gut-wrenching homoerotic Internet meme? I searched around for a bit and decided I would be the first to carry this vision to fruition…

And so, unveiled here for the first time, I bring you… THE MISGOATS!

Don’t ask me, I don’t know either.

Meet my arch nemesis, The God Damned Owl.

Early in her life, my daughter, Kei, developed a fondness for owls. I think we first noticed it at my parents’ house in Missouri, where there is a macramé owl hanging on the dining room wall. She would run in the room and point at it, shouting, “Hoo hoooo! Hooo hoooooo!” Over and over, she would invite everyone into the room to announce Mr. Owl, as if she had discovered his presence all on her own. A big accomplishment for a 16-month-old.

My wife saw The God Damned Owl at Wal-Mart while very uncharacteristically shopping there one Sunday. I say uncharacteristically because she worked for Wal-Mart for a few years while in college. As a result, she loathes Wal-Mart. I figure she has a better reason than most to feel this way, so I wholeheartedly support her in this venture. It’s just that… When you have children, you become susceptible to “Every Day Low Prices,” even if those $3 chanklas do burn holes in your skin. You just learn to be careful and save money… Maybe that should be Wal-Mart’s new slogan: Save At Your Own Risk!

Anyway, Sharon thought it would be cute to bring The God Damned Owl into our home and see how Kei would react to it. You know, maybe put it up on some high shelf, or outside a window far from the reach of her little hands. No, Kei had other ideas. She glommed onto The God Damned Owl as soon as it was placed in the shopping cart.

The God Damned Owl is a hard plastic molding with a few sharp edges; The God Damned Owl stands about 18″ tall. So you can see, this could lead to a few issues. Even if I were to file down the points, the The God Damned Owl’s ears alone are wee deadly weapons, seemingly designed to poke out the eyes of a two-year-old, or, alternately, her 42-year-old dad, which is exactly what has happened on at least one occasion of trying to wrestle The God Damned Owl from the hands of my child. Kei walked away unscathed; Daddy lost that battle with The God Damned Owl.

At times, Kei will show a waning interest in The God Damned Owl. It’s then that we try to hide it, hoping she will somehow forget about it, but she always finds The God Damned Owl and picks it up, carrying it like a dolly around the house, hugging it, sometimes even giving it a little kiss at bedtime. We have, however been successful at keeping The God Damned Owl out of her bed at night, though we have no idea if she’s made any middle-of-the-night reconnaissance to rescue The God Damned Owl or not… She has been found sleeping on the floor by her bed a few times early in the morning, and we can only surmise that she may have been trying to locate The God Damned Owl by cover of nightfall.

We’ve purchased a couple of large plush owls for her upcoming birthday in the hopes that we can swap out a far softer companion in place of The God Damned Owl, but only time will tell… The God Damned Owl might yet find his true place at our house, outside, keeping squirrels, possums and other undesirables away. We’ll see…

Having an impromptu Skype-a-thon with Mike at Gaijin in Japan today while I’m working. More of a soundscape, actually. I don’t have my mic here, and he’s drinkin’ shochu, so I can hear him puttering around his room, rustling papers and drunkily farting now and again.

He hit our webcam and posted a shot of us flying the bird. Now that’s multitasking!

The small dick spammers are getting more imaginative every day. Just have a look at this high tech approach to advertising. Who’da thunk it that a halfassed cartoon of a schlong in a wheelchair would open the floodgates to insecure men everywhere. We’re of weaker intelligence than I initially assessed.

Yeah, I blurred the URL. Whaddya think, I’m gonna give them a link on my dime?

One of my photos of Otafuku in New York City has been included in the new Schmap New York Travel Guide. I’ve included their widget on this page ‘cos you know, I just need more clutter.

We were last there in May 2000, a little over year before the shit hit the fan down on the south end of Manhattan. I guess you could say it was a different time then… Certainly not a more “innocent” time by any means, but just… Different.

Here’s video from this year’s Hounen Matsuri, held every March in Komaki (outside Nagoya), Aichi Prefecture, Japan. We attended the festivities in 2002, and I must say that it was the most unique public festival I’ve ever seen…