Hello Sluggo:

I decided the world would be a much better place if we all had some nice Spam Musubi merchandise. So, a few weeks back, I flew to San Francisco and hired a crack photographer (okay, he was actually a photographer on crack whom I met stumbling along Fillmore late one night) and headed over to May’s Coffee Shop in Japan Center’s Kintetsu Mall for our shoot. After hours of searching for the right omusubi, we finally happened upon this one, and got a few shots of it before the temptation became too much and I ate it.

Now, you can own a piece of history with these spiffy new Spam Musubi shirts and other select items. And they don’t even say “Got Spam?” on the back—just unfettered Hormellian goodness on the front. Head on over to my Spam Musubi store and get yours today!

This idea was put forth back in August by Andrew Wheeler, author of Eat Britain. I might be a little late on the draw, but I think I’m up to the challenge. Let’s see…

The instructions:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

(PS: The list has generated a lot of questions, so Andrew created an FAQ for it over here!)

Okay, so my score is 69/100. Not bad, but I would have done even better had he included a few other oddball things in the mix, like Whale, Natto, Shirako (fish milt, or seminal fluid sacs—yeah, fish jizz, raw even), pig’s ear, tequila con gusano, steamed pork blood, chicken feet, fish’s eyes, thousand-year-old egg and maybe a half dozen other things I’ve consumed before.

And after all that, the only thing I crossed off the list was “a fat cigar.” Sorry, tobacco products just gross me out.

The remaining 31 items on the list better be pretty damned good, or I’m gonna feel kinda ripped off by the time it’s all said and done.

Anyone with a knowledge of Japanese language/pop culture might wonder if the name of this place could have been more thoroughly researched.

Then again, they could really exploit the unfortunate name and call it “Tom’s Unchi.” Just a thought.

I’ll link directly to 2Girls1Cup, but BoingBoing won’t. Can’t say I blame them, really, since they probably have way more money invested in their web presence, not to mention a rep to uphold. Me? Heheh, I don’t really care.

If you’ve read this far without clicking the link, you’ll benefit in reading my NSFW (not safe for work, or, alternately, now show friends and workmates) warning: Don’t click the link if you’re sitting in a precarious situation in your cubicle at your place of employment. You know what I mean.

If you clicked it already, God bless ya.

Now, as far as watching 2Girls1Cup with family around, be my guest. You might even get a good laugh like this guy did in the video below. But don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

…and a Goatse® Brand birthday cake. Rock. On.

I wish I could have seen more episodes of Travel Sick, the UK television program which sent its hapless host, Grub Smith, to locations across the globe to complete a series of “undesirable challenges.” Alas, Comedy Central apparently didn’t think its viewers enjoyed seeing Grub cleaning a shit-covered Korean squat toilet with a toothbrush, fuck a watermelon in the desert or tattoo the ass of a New Guinea tribeswoman. Me? I loved it. American television should sit back and learn a few things from Mr. Smith. Maybe then we could rid the airwaves of skank like Nancy Grace.

The closest thing we have on TV here to even rival the genius of Travel Sick is Tony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmern, both of whom should make the trip over the Atlantic and buy Grub a pint of his favorite for paving the way to their collective success. I doubt either of them would have the cajones to pull off the shit in the following clip…