Hello Sluggo:

I guess you’re all wondering where I’ve been lately and why I haven’t been posting. Yeah, all of you. All of my loyal readership. Uh huh.

Let’s just say I’ve been busy with important matters of US security—Such as a recent summit I participated in with Iran’s Iron Sheik. He damn near had me defecting to the other side with his promises of heavenly virgins and all that crap if I would help him take out Hulk Hogan. in the end I had to decline ‘cos I like women to be a bit more experienced.

Sorry, Sheik. But you’re still #1 All-American in my book.