Hello Sluggo:

One of the many reasons people blog is for attention. Don’t lie. Maybe you have a lot to say, or you think your recipe for Orange and Lemon Marmalade is the best out there or you think black helicopters have flown up your ass, but the real deal is that you want attention. So in the interest of tracking how much attention I’m getting (or not getting, as the case may be), I was taking a look at my miserable stats, and this catches my eye:

Let me make sure I understand this.

Homeboy couldn’t simply Google “crack pipe.” It was even beyond him to do a Google Image Search for “crack pipe.” No, instead he’s relying on the wonder of the Internet to do the work for him, so he does a Google search for HOW+TO+DRAW+A++CRACK+PIPE, which led him to this previous Hello Sluggo posting.

Perhaps he couldn’t be bothered to look no further than the end of his arm?

Here, I figger that since you were nice enough to come to my little corner of the Web and have a little look around, I’ll return the favor by drawing your crack pipe for you.

There. I hope you get an A.

UPDATE: Cracknet madness continues with a Hello Sluggo “hit” from a slowhead in Indianapolis, Indiana searching for “hitting+a+crack+pipe.” Whatever happened to good ol’ red-blooded American male search terms like bukkake and Goatse?